Most men are terrified of talking to women because they think they’ll be written off as a needy chump who wants something from her.
It’s kind of like when you’re at the store, and one of the sales staff walks up to you, trying to pitch something. Most people would be more comfortable looking around first before asking any questions.
Women feel the same way when a stranger walks up to them. They feel that expectation to invest themselves in a conversation they have ZERO interest in.
Plus, from her point of view, it’s kind of jarring to have some random guy try to get something out of her (e.g. a phone number, promise of a date, etc.) when all she wants is to go about her business.
So it’s for this reason that guys can’t seem to overcome that mental hurdle of interacting with an attractive stranger. To them, there’s too much “at stake” for them to risk getting shot down within seconds of meeting a woman.
But the good news is that there really isn’t that much riding on a single conversation. It’s just the fear talking, which is really just the brain projecting a highly exaggerated doomsday scenario.
So, your goal should be to keep that inner voice at bay.
I could tell you that the worst she could do is say “no”, but that won’t really help you be more confident with women, would it?
Instead, I want to share a handful of strategies to make interacting with women feel more natural to you (and in effect, not make you creepy):
#1: Keep Your Head Clear
The main reason guys mess up with women is that they’re too worried about the unknown. Remember that fear I talked about? Most of that is focused on things that have YET to happen, like what she’ll say or the possibility of getting rejected.
And so when your mind is too wrapped up in something other than the PRESENT, you’ll be disengaged with women which isn’t an attractive vibe to give off.
That internal warning system in her head will go off (a.k.a. her Creep Radar) and she’ll think to herself, “What’s up with this guy? Why is he so tense? Should I be worried?”
One of the simplest ways be more attractive is by simply NOT caring about the end result of your actions.
You can worry about that later on; in the meantime, you need to care more about making her feel good (more on that later). Thinking about anything else is POISONOUS to your game.
#2: Relax!
I know that seems easy to say, but if you really think about the last tip, you’ll realize that logically, it doesn’t make sense to dwell on a potential outcome.
Aside from removing those distracting thoughts from your head, you’ll also have to work on both your verbal and non-verbal communication.
Try to remove any trace of hesitation in your body language and the way you convey your words. This is key because women will follow your lead, meaning she’ll feel nervous if you give her a reason to feel that way.
Just think about this: in your heart of hearts, you KNOW you’re an awesome dude who’s fun to be with. In fact, you’re making her life more interesting by interacting with her.
If you’re sensing a little aloofness from her or some negative body language, the trick is NOT to let those things mess with your head. Although it might seem that the natural thing to do is give in to her vibe, you should go against this urge.
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* This article was originally published here
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