Moving Past The Usual 'What’s Up?', 6 Better Ways To Start A Conversation On Dating App For Real Talk News18
* This article was originally published here
Thursday, April 30, 2026
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Tennis players are kind of dull: Andrea Petkovic shares surprising dating advice about Carlos Alcaraz, Jannik Sinner and tennis stars - MSN
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176 Likes In 7 Days
Let’s acknowledge some truths about dating in 2026:
Dating apps are ubiquitous. They’re free and frictionless and easy to use.
Dating apps are shallow. They reward looks and, due to having three short prompts, limit your ability to showcase your personality.
Because of the high volume of people and low-quality of the interaction (Hey!), many people are burned out on the dating app experience.
You conclude that because dating apps are bad and meeting in person is good, they should delete their apps and start doing more activities IRL.
You take up pickleball. You join a hiking club. You consider golf. You discover that despite all of these genuinely fun hobbies, your love life hasn’t changed at all.
This is the story of millions of women, who have collectively come to the false conclusion that it’s impossible to meet quality men – both online and in real life.
Here’s what they’re missing:
That’s a screenshot of one of my client’s Match statistics for her first week online.
Marisa is a 44-year-old single mom in New Jersey.
This image dispels a bunch of myths all at once:
1 – Nobody under 60 is using Match.
Well, at least 1976 men who liked her profile in the past 7 days are using it.
2 – Men are shallow and don’t take the time to read profiles.
I write my private clients two 200 word essays (About Me/About Who I’m Looking For). Every single one sees an immediate difference in the quality and quantity of men, and receives multiple emails saying that it’s the best profile they’ve ever read.
Quality men still seek out quality women.
3 – Guys just want to meet in person ASAP and won’t respect your boundaries.
Of the 202 men who wrote, Marisa responded to 20. Four earned FaceTime conversations. Two earned dates.
Next week, Marisa, will likely text 5-10 new guys and have 1-2 more dates.
She will do this over and over until she finds a man worthy of her commitment. In my experience, that will take her less than six months.
What I hope I’ve illustrated is that while most people are reading the dating market wrong – either opting out or dating ineffectively – my clients are making a killing.
- Instead of relying on luck and hobbies to generate a love life, they’re dating online.
- Instead of dating apps, they’re using dating sites – with longer profiles and emails.
- Instead of thinking men are impossibly shallow and won’t consider middle-aged single moms, they’re seeing that tons of quality are still interested in depth.
- Instead of getting stuck in texting hell and meeting strangers for coffee, they’re making men meet on FaceTime before earning a real-life date.
It’s a system. It works. And in a world where everyone else is dropping out of the dating market, in truth, it’s a perfect buying opportunity.
Love,
Evan
* This article was originally published here
Thursday, April 23, 2026
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The Problem With Women…
Once upon a time, there was a Facebook account that had millions of followers.
It was called “The Problem With Women…Is Men.”
Pure marketing genius. Flatter your audience (women). Find a common enemy (men). Wash, rinse, repeat. And hey, it’s kind of fun to point out the worst behaviors of the opposite sex, because there is some truth to stereotypes. Here are ten semi-true examples
Men think about sex a lot
Crude but accurate. Frequency varies, but the baseline is higher than most women expect.
Men will sleep with women they wouldn’t seriously date
Sexual standards and relationship standards are often different.
Men avoid difficult conversations
Especially emotional or relationship-defining ones. Many will delay or minimize rather than engage directly.
Men can be emotionally immature
Not all, but a meaningful percentage haven’t developed the same level of emotional awareness or communication skills.
Men are territorial/possessive
Jealousy, protectiveness, ego around their partner. This shows up across cultures.
Men overestimate their own attractiveness or value
Confidence sometimes drifts into delusion. You see it in dating apps constantly.
Men are lazy in relationships once they feel secure
Effort during pursuit can drop off after commitment.
Men struggle with subtlety
Hints, indirect communication, nuance: many miss it. Men respond better to directness.
Men bond through activity more than conversation
Connection often centers around doing things, not talking things through.
Men’s self-worth is tied heavily to status and success
Money, career, respect from men—these matter deeply, often more than relationships.
Remember, I’m a guy and I’m saying that these negative stereotypes are often true. Not always. But enough that when you scan that list, you probably nod your head.
Sex-crazed, emotionally undeveloped, delusional, jealous, controlling, insecure.
“THIS is what I’m dealing with,” you think. What’s the point of dating if men – across the board, stereotypically – are so highly flawed?
That’s what content like “The Problem with Women…Is Men” would suggest.
Here’s the problem with such dating advice: it teaches you nothing. It validates what we all want to believe: we’re perfect and everyone else out there sucks.
It’s just not true. If you’re a heterosexual woman who dates men, the above list may hit a little too close to home. But if you were a heterosexual man, you’d have a different list, wouldn’t you? One that would look a little more like this:
Women say they want one thing but respond to another
Stated preferences (kind, stable, nice) don’t always match actual attraction (confidence, edge, status).
Women are more selective than men
Across apps and real life, women filter harder and reject more quickly.
Women can be indirect communicators
Hints, implications, reading between the lines. Saying something without saying it outright.
Women talk about relationships…a lot
Processing with friends, analyzing interactions, replaying conversations.
Women compare themselves to other women
Looks, lifestyle, relationship status. Social comparison drives behavior.
Women can lose attraction quickly
A single moment – neediness, weakness, inconsistency – THE ICK – can flip a switch.
Women can hold onto resentment longer
You may forgive, but you won’t forget. Most guys get over fights faster.
I’m not saying these all apply to you (no more than the entire men’s list applied to me) but I hope you can see how some men might draw such conclusions.
In fact, they have – in the Manosphere. That’s the sad corner of the Internet where men overemphasize the worst stereotypes of women and live as if they’re 100% true.
If women are into looks more than nice guys, you should biohack and work out 2 hrs/day.
If women are into money, you should be an influencer who drives a Lamborghini.
If women are into “masculine men,” you should act like a douche who has no feelings.
It’s ridiculous.
Naturally, women see men who act like this and conclude the worst stereotypes of men are true. And around and around we go.
So let’s put down our swords and speak reasonably. We don’t want a world where women demonize men and men demonize women. We want a world in which we can acknowledge the differences between men and women and even celebrate (or laugh at) them.
This is the world so many of my happily married clients inhabit.
Love,
Evan
* This article was originally published here
Thursday, April 16, 2026
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Friday, April 10, 2026
The 5 Traits That Actually Predict A Great Relationship
I want to challenge that the key to finding love is figuring out your “type.”
It sounds logical. It feels right. And yet, if that approach actually worked, you wouldn’t still be searching. Because here’s the truth no one tells you:
Your type tells you who you’re attracted to.
It doesn’t tell you who’s good at relationships.
If you’re the CEO of your love life, THAT’s what you’re hiring for.
Who is good at being my partner?
That’s where the Big 5 personality traits come in. This is one of the most researched, validated ways to understand how people think, behave, and relate to others.
In other words, it tells you how a man is going to show up when it actually matters.
Let’s talk about what that means in real life.
The first trait is openness.
This is about curiosity and flexibility. A man high in openness is willing to consider new ideas, have real conversations, and grow over time. A man low in openness tends to be rigid, set in his ways, and resistant to change.
If you’ve ever felt like you were dragging a man through emotional conversations while he shut down or dismissed your perspective, you’ve experienced low openness.
You don’t need someone who agrees with you on everything. You need someone who is willing to engage with you.
My wife and I are very different people but we’re both high in openness. Our default is to say “yes” to each others’ requests. You MUST choose a man who says “yes” more than no.
The second trait is conscientiousness.
Conscientiousness is about reliability, responsibility, and follow-through. It’s the difference between a man who says he’ll call and does, and a man who says he’ll call and disappears for three days.
When women tell me they feel anxious in dating, nine times out of ten, they’re dealing with a man who lacks this trait.
I’ve often said that my wife didn’t meet the image I’d built in my mind of my ideal partner. Turns out she didn’t have to. The one thing I know about her is that she’ll ALWAYS do the right thing. She’s honest, ethical, good to the core, and I never have to worry about whether I trust her to do the right thing. Why would ANYONE have a partner they can’t trust?
The third trait is extraversion.
This one is often misunderstood. It’s less about being loud and more about engagement and initiative. A man with healthy extraversion leans in. He asks you out. He expresses interest. He creates momentum.
A man on the low end may be perfectly nice, but he leaves you guessing. You end up doing the emotional labor, initiating plans, wondering where you stand.
Attraction needs movement. Relationships stall when no one is driving.
In my marriage, my wife is very affable, but I’m more extraverted. I’m the one who looks for cool things to do in Los Angeles, makes the reservations, and picks up the check. I’m the one who called my wife every day we were dating – and she never had to call me once.
I don’t judge those who are more passive and content doing nothing; I just think it’s a lot easier to understand the intent of a man who leads your relationship forward.
The fourth trait is agreeableness.
This is about kindness, empathy, and cooperation. A man high in agreeableness is considerate, respectful, and capable of seeing your point of view.
A man low in this trait turns everything into a negotiation or a fight.
If every disagreement feels like a battle, you’re not dealing with a “strong personality.” You’re dealing with someone who lacks the emotional generosity required for a healthy relationship.
I’m thrilled to say I chose a partner whose default setting is to please others – and it’s rubbed off on me over the past 19 years. The best dating advice I can give to men is to say “Yes, dear,” rather than “You’re not the boss of me!”
The fifth trait is emotional stability – a lack of neuroticism.
This might be the most important of all.
Emotional stability is about how someone handles stress, conflict, and uncertainty. A man who is emotionally stable doesn’t spiral, withdraw or lash out when things get hard.
The question isn’t whether challenges will arise. The question is whether he can handle them without making you feel unsafe or misunderstood.
My wife is decidedly less neurotic than I am. I hate that but it’s true. I’m grateful that most of the time, I lead a stress-free life. I’m also conscious of the costs of being with someone on an emotional roller-coaster.
If I could give anyone blanket relationship advice applicable to all sexes: marry someone happy and reasonable. If you choose “unhappy and unreasonable” men, all the chemistry and common interests will not matter.
Now step back and look at what we’ve been taught to prioritize instead. Height. Income. Shared hobbies. Whether he likes dogs. Whether he grew up in the same religion.
These things are easy to see. They’re easy to list on a profile. They’re easy to bond over on a first date. But they tell you almost nothing about how a relationship is going to feel in six months, much less six years.
A man can check every box on your list and still be rigid, inconsistent, passive, combative, and emotionally volatile. A man who doesn’t perfectly match your “type” can be open, reliable, engaged, kind, and steady.
One of those men will give you butterflies. The other will give you peace.
If you want the relationship you deserve, you have to start paying attention to the traits that actually predict that outcome.
If this is hitting a nerve, it should.
Because once you see this, you can’t go back to choosing men the same way.
The only question is what you do with it.
If you’re ready to stop guessing and start choosing better, I invite you to schedule a private consultation with me.
We’ll talk about your patterns, what’s been keeping you stuck, and what it would take to finally create the relationship you deserve.
Love,
Evan
* This article was originally published here
Thursday, April 9, 2026
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