Cavaliers vs. Pacers - Game Recap - December 31, 2020 ESPN
* This article was originally published here
Thursday, December 31, 2020
Is Coronavirus Killing Our Social Skills?
Once upon a time, there was a global pandemic.
It was terrible for the world – tens of millions infected, economies and businesses destroyed, people going hungry, misinformation and blame abounding.
But for some individuals, it was a mixed blessing.
For extroverts and overly scheduled people, it was a chance to reflect on how busy you were and how many social obligations were draining and unnecessary.
For introverts, it was a perfect excuse to stay home and avoid the hustle and bustle of real life. Maybe it was a little TOO much alone time but working from home has turned out to be a pretty positive side effect of coronavirus.
You know who really got hurt by lockdown? Kids. Kids, who learn to grow up by interacting with other kids, by joining sports teams, by having playdates, by pushing boundaries set by teachers, by figuring out their own identities. Teenagers, who were already too addicted to their phones, becoming more dependent on them. Pre-adolescents, who were already a little immature, falling a year behind their peers in terms of social maturity.
what I teach in Love U is not so much dating advice, but social skills.
Which brings us to today’s article, “An Adult’s Guide to Social Skills,” published in the New York Times earlier this year. Reading it was a validation that a lot of what I teach in Love U is not so much dating advice, but social skills. Confidence. Boundaries. Emotional Intelligence. Self-Awareness. Empathy. Communication.
It’s a worthwhile read so click here to check it out.
In the comments below, please share what you need to work on with your social skills. For me, it’s my fierce and unfortunate loyalty to telling the truth instead of being more tactful and sensitive. It got me fired from a few jobs and still gets me in trouble today…as you can easily see for yourself.
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* This article was originally published here
Wednesday, December 30, 2020
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Friday, December 18, 2020
What is the Best Dating Site or Best Dating App?
The most popular question I get is “what’s the best dating site or app?” Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Match, OkCupid. Where should I go to find quality men? I’m going to answer that in a moment, but first I’m going to explain that which site you’re on doesn’t matter nearly as much as what you do when you get there.
Watch it on YouTube.
- Download the transcript of this podcast
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The post What is the Best Dating Site or Best Dating App? appeared first on Dating Coach - Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..
* This article was originally published here
Thursday, December 17, 2020
Why You’ll Have a Happier Marriage if You Understand Men
As a dating coach, I try to teach concepts that aren’t blatantly obvious.
Relationship advice for men tends to focus on building up attraction – how to make more money, how to have a better body, how to make the first move.
That’s what will GET you a woman’s attention; it’s not what will keep you in a happy relationship. More money and better bodies don’t equate to compatibility.
If I were a coach for men, I’d teach them what women want but often neglect when choosing their partners: the importance of listening, validating, checking in regularly, and making you feel safe, heard, and understood.
Alas, I’m a coach for women.
And if conventional self-help for women consists of telling you to lose weight, apply makeup for better selfies, master these 7 hot techniques in bed, and “love yourself,” I’m going to teach something else: the importance of making men feel accepted, appreciated and admired – as opposed to constantly criticized.
It’s the disconnect – and the belief that the opposite sex is “wrong” when they disagree with us – that causes a lot of friction.
Enter the latest validating article by Stephanie Coontz about how gay marriages are happier and healthier than straight marriages. No surprise. Women understand women better. Men understand men better. It’s the disconnect – and the belief that the opposite sex is “wrong” when they disagree with us – that causes a lot of friction.
Coontz focuses on gender roles at home as the source of disconnect but I think it neatly overlaps with what I wrote above. If a man comes home from work and expects his working wife to have dinner on the table AND to do the dishes afterward, he is certainly not making her feel “understood.” And if a man DOES cut the vegetables and does the dishes but only hears that he did both “wrong,” he’s not going to feel particularly “accepted.”
It’s about finding a balance and fairness that works for both members of a couple. If a wife is constantly swallowing her feelings about the emotional labor of running a house and the man is constantly being told that his best efforts to help out are never enough, you can see why a more egalitarian homosexual relationship may be a little easier.
“The researchers John Gottman and Robert Levenson found that gays and lesbians who discussed a disagreement with their partner did so in less belligerent, domineering and fearful ways than different-sex individuals, possibly because they did not bring the same history of power inequalities to the table. Same-sex couples used more affection and humor while discussing their disagreements, became less agitated and calmed down more quickly afterward than different-sex couples.
Even in ordinary daily interactions, people in same-sex unions use more positive methods of influencing a partner, studies find, than individuals in different-sex partnerships, offering encouragement and praise rather than criticism, lectures or appeals to guilt.”
And it’s not just men who are at fault here. “Women, for instance, have long been socialized to believe that providing and receiving emotional support is a routine obligation in partnerships, something that, like putting food on the table, must be done every day. The University of Texas sociologist Debra Umberson says that women tend to be “all in” when it comes to anticipating, reading and responding to their partner’s emotional and physical needs.” That’s a lot of emotional work – especially for a man who doesn’t have the same emotional needs – which is to say, most of them.
Please read the original article, which is long, thoughtful, and well researched, and let me know: do you think it would be easier to date the same sex? Your thoughts, below, are greatly appreciated.
The post Why You’ll Have a Happier Marriage if You Understand Men appeared first on Dating Coach - Evan Marc Katz | Understand Men. Find Love..
* This article was originally published here
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