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* This article was originally published here
Tuesday, September 30, 2025
Monday, September 29, 2025
I Went to a Client’s Wedding and Was SHOCKED at What Happened Next
I’ve helped hundreds of women find love and get married. Yet, until Saturday, I’d only been to ONE client’s wedding before. Wait: how is that even possible?
- My clients usually get married 3+ years after coaching. If clients hire me for six months, find a boyfriend, and adhere to my advice not to get married for at least 2 years, it’s generally going to be 3 years since we worked closely together.
- I’m married with children in Los Angeles – and my clients are elsewhere. Since I’d only attend a wedding with my wife, I can’t justify calling the in-laws in San Diego and asking them to watch our kids while we head to Minnesota or Australia or Ibiza – all real locations where I was invited to weddings.
- My clients don’t want to admit to everyone they know – much less their new husband – that they had a dating coach. I completely understand this, which is why I never take it personally when I’m not invited.
But this is also why I take it VERY seriously when I’m invited to a wedding. It says that my client is not only comfortable in her own skin but she wants me to share in her glory.
Saturday night, Rhoda allowed me to share in her glory. Here’s what you should know about her before I share a short video from her wedding.
- She had the roughest upbringing of any client I’ve ever coached. Her childhood trauma led her into two bad marriages in her 30s and 40s, after which she gave up on love for a decade to focus on her career, her friendships and her spirituality.
- She reached out to me in 2021 when she was in a good place personally but realized she was missing out on the love that so many of her close married friends had.
- She said during our initial conversation that she felt “like a little kid starting over. I don’t want to perpetuate bad patterns. But I have no idea how to do this.”
Fast forward to the end of coaching in 2022: “Thank you for everything, truly. You’ve helped me more than any therapist ever has and I feel better all the time. Your belief in me brought down so many of my walls, and I became primed to meet a lifetime partner. You are very rare, and among the biggest mensches I have ever known.” If you’re Jewish, there’s no bigger compliment than to be called a mensch!
Six months later, I received this: “Evan, I can’t believe how much I learned from you. I am a different dater. Calm, confident, real, fun, full of life, not a great flirt but definitely better, empathic, sensitive to him while keeping my sense of self and more. He is Jewish, lives in the Palisades, wife died 15 months ago, he found me on Match. He took care of her alone when she was sick with cancer. He is wicked smart, very kind, asks q’s, generous. If it goes somewhere or nowhere, I now know that I can do it, I can get myself into a good relationship with a kind guy. “
This language of hope and empowerment is a coach’s dream and if that was the last I heard from Rhoda, I’d have been thrilled with her progress. But here she was, 2 ½ years later, after her wedding in Beverly Hills.
When I mentioned her comfort in sharing the glory, Rhoda had my wife and I sit at her table even though I’d never even met her in person before! Each time I met a guest, they’d already heard about me and thanked me for helping their dear friend find love.
I share this with you because the only thing unusual about Rhoda’s story is that she chose to tell everyone about us. Overcoming bad relationships, gaining confidence, and finding a great guy? That’s what I expect for all of my clients.
I don’t expect an invitation to your wedding but if you are in your 50’s or 60’s and have felt that love wasn’t in the cards, I hope Rhoda convinces you otherwise.
Click here to get what Rhoda got – happy!
Love,
Evan
* This article was originally published here
Sunday, September 28, 2025
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Friday, September 19, 2025
It’s Not About Meeting the Right Guy. It’s About Choosing Him
As a dating coach for smart, successful women, I’ve been asked the same question in a hundred different ways:
- “Where are all the good men?”
- “What’s the best dating app?”
- “Is it better to meet someone at church, through friends, or at a professional networking event?”
Underneath these questions is the same core belief: “I just haven’t met the right guy yet.” But I’m here to tell you something that might rattle your worldview a little:
The problem is not where you meet men. The problem is how you choose them.
It’s completely understandable why so many women focus on where to meet men:
- If I just get on the right app, he’ll show up.
- If I move to a city with more single men, I’ll finally find him.
- If I attend more events, workshops, and meetups, I’ll increase my chances.
But here’s the truth (believe it or not): good men are everywhere. The problem isn’t merely access; it’s selection. Remember: I’m not blaming you for the lack of quality men. I’m acknowledging that 90% of men are not for you AND pointing out that if you keep choosing poorly, it won’t matter where you meet them. The pattern will repeat.
The Flawed Logic of “I Just Haven’t Met the Right Guy Yet”
I just haven’t met the right guy” is comforting because it implies there’s nothing you can do to alter your future.
The problem is always dating apps, your city, and, basically, all men.
Imagine a man said the same thing. You’d assume he had a big blind spot.
So if none of your previous relationships made you feel safe, heard, and understood, then maybe — just maybe — the common denominator isn’t men… it’s your choices.
Not in a self-shaming way. In an empowering, take-the-wheel-of-your-love-life kind of way.
Because when you realize that your biggest challenge isn’t meeting men or even keeping them — it’s choosing the right one in the first place — everything changes.
Why Women Choose Poorly (Even Smart Ones, Like You!)
You’re not alone. I see this with my clients all the time. Here are a few common traps:
1. You mistake chemistry for compatibility.
That hot guy with the witty banter gives you butterflies… and anxiety. He’s exciting, but he’s also inconsistent, unavailable, or emotionally exhausting.
2. You fall in love with potential.
You see what he could be if he just went to therapy, communicated better, or stopped being selfish. But potential isn’t reality. And who he could be isn’t who he is right now.
3. You override your own feelings.
He checks the boxes on paper, so when you don’t feel emotionally fulfilled, you tell yourself you’re being too picky. Spoiler alert: you’re not.
One of my clients – let’s call her Lisa – came into Love U after a string of relationships with men who were exciting, accomplished, and emotionally vacant.
She kept saying, “I just haven’t met the right guy.” What she really meant was: “I keep choosing attractive men who make me feel like I’m walking on eggshells.”
When she finally gave a good guy a chance – someone who showed up consistently, listened, and treated her like gold – she realized that her life wasn’t marked by looking for love in all the wrong places, but rather, wasting decades on relationships with the wrong men.
She didn’t have to chase love. She didn’t have to question where she stood. She simply allowed herself to be loved the way she deserved all along.
And yes — she met him online, in a city where she swore all the good men were taken.
Become the CEO of Your Love Life
Choosing the right man is a skill. Just like you learned how to build your career or manage your finances, you can learn how to choose a man who makes you feel cherished.
In Love U, I teach you how to meet men, date with confidence, understand male behavior, and choose a compatible partner.
You don’t need a different app, a better city, or a mythical meetup with only great guys.
You need a better strategy — and I can teach you how.
If you’re ready to finally stop selecting the wrong men and start attracting the right one, click here to apply for coaching.
You’ll get the support, structure, and tools to create the love life you’ve always wanted.
Love,
Evan
Raise your relationship standards
* This article was originally published here
Thursday, September 18, 2025
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Do you have sex before he commits?
You’ve been having sex for decades. You’re sexually liberated, comfortable in your own skin, and can communicate what turns you on. You like sex. And when you haven’t been having sex for a long period of time, sometimes, you just want to have sex with the cute guy who is flirting hard with you on the third date.
No one – especially not me – would blame you for your desire. Lust is primal, and sometimes you just have to indulge it and deal with the consequences. So, what are the most common consequences of sleeping with a man who is not your boyfriend?
1. Things continue casually without commitment
If a guy enjoys your company but doesn’t see you as a girlfriend, sleeping together usually cements that. He’ll keep things fun and easy, but he won’t be escalating the relationship. Next thing you know, seeing him for three or four months but he’s NOT your boyfriend.
2. He disappears or loses interest
Some men see sex as the finish line. Once they get it, the curiosity fades. If he wasn’t that serious to begin with, intimacy accelerates his exit. If you’ve ever slept with a guy who ghosts entirely or does the slow fade over a few weeks, you know how bad it feels.
3. You feel more attached than he does
Women release oxytocin during sex, which deepens emotional bonding. Men don’t release it to the same degree. That’s why women often feel closer after sex, while men may be unchanged. In other words, you may want to separate sex from emotion, but when you’re sleeping with someone regularly, it’s not always easy to do.
4. You’re stuck in limbo
He’s still texting and seeing you, but there’s no forward movement. You’re giving him girlfriend benefits without a commitment, and you’re left wondering if you’re more than a hookup. Plus, you’re too afraid to say anything because the second you bring up commitment, you know that it’s all over.
5. It becomes a relationship — but only if it was headed that way already
The rarest outcome. Men who commit after sex were already seeing you as potential girlfriend material before you slept together. Sex doesn’t turn a casual guy into a serious partner; it just confirms his existing intentions.
What’s Most Likely on the Third Date
If you sleep with a man on the third date, here’s what happens most often:
- If he’s serious and emotionally available, it won’t change a thing. He’ll keep pursuing you.
- If he’s just in it for fun, sleeping together makes it obvious sooner rather than later. The wrong guys fade, the right guys stick.
(For a deeper dive, I wrote a viral post on why women should wait for sex that you may find eye-opening.)
The Probability Curve
Based on both science and 20 years of coaching, here’s how things usually break down after early sex (first 3–5 dates):
- 40% – Things fizzle quickly (ghosting, pullback, minimal effort)
- 35% – It continues casually without commitment (situationship, no clarity)
- 20% – It becomes a short-term relationship (3–6 months)
- 5% – It turns into a healthy long-term relationship
Sex doesn’t scare away the right guy, but it can make it harder to discern between the ones who want to commit and the ones who don’t.
(And if you’ve already slept with him sooner than you’d like, don’t panic. I did a Love U Podcast episode on exactly what to do next and another on the difference between sex and commitment that may help you reset your mindset.)
Here’s the takeaway:
You can sleep with whomever you want, whenever you want. But if you’re looking for love, it often serves you to wait until you know he’s a boyfriend before you act like a girlfriend.
If you’ve been getting stuck in this gray area with men, let’s talk. I’ll show you how to stop giving your heart and body to men who aren’t investing equally in you.
Love,
Evan
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* This article was originally published here
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