‘Vibe dating’ explodes as young singles ditch rules and chase instant chemistry Fox News
* This article was originally published here
Saturday, December 13, 2025
Friday, December 12, 2025
The Beliefs That Keep Smart Women Stuck
Boys account for twice as many students as girls in the bottom GPA decile; girls in many contexts outperform boys in average GPA.
One study found that among employees, approximately 18.1 % of men reported alcohol‐related problems versus 7.2 % of women in the same sample.
Globally (2021), men accounted for about 90 % of homicide suspects brought into formal contact with police.
These aren’t obscure findings; they’re well-established patterns you’ve heard before.
You probably have no trouble accepting these statistics about men. Nor would you argue if I told you that studies show that men score lower on emotional sensitivity or take more reckless risks, physically, emotionally, and financially.
Not only will these facts go down easy, you may nod along as if to say, “Of course. I live in the world. I’ve met men.” It’s comfortable. It aligns with what you’ve seen.
But introduce a fact that cuts a little closer to the bone, a fact that challenges a hope or a long-held belief, and the entire energy shifts.
Mention that fertility declines sharply in a woman’s forties, and the conversation changes direction. Instead of sitting with the data, we hear about declining sperm counts, environmental toxins, and that one friend who got pregnant naturally at 44. It’s not that these things are completely irrelevant; it’s that they’re being used to defend an idea that feels safer than the truth. But the data remains the same whether we like it or not: fertility changes with age.
Or take something as innocuous as Thanksgiving turkey. I told my mother and my wife that the tryptophan myth has been debunked. Turkey doesn’t make you sleepy. Both of them smiled and assured me that, despite the science, their lived experience was proof enough that turkey is a biological sedative. No amount of explanation could compete with the nap they take every year after dessert.
These moments aren’t about intelligence. They’re about identity. When information threatens something we want to believe, we protect the belief and dismiss the information. Psychologists call this motivated reasoning or confirmation bias, but you don’t need academic language to understand it. You’ve seen it when you’ve argued with someone who already decided how the story ends.
Dating and relationship influencers and podcasters are masters at this.
People gravitate toward voices that validate what they already think. Women who believe men are selfish follow influencers who preach exactly that. Women who believe all the good men are taken subscribe to content that reassures them the problem isn’t them – it’s men. Women who are exhausted by dating apps seek out people who say dating apps don’t work. And when something challenges the narrative – say, a story about a woman in her 50s who found love on Bumble – it’s treated as an exception rather than evidence that their narrative is incomplete.
The tragedy is that the truth you resist is often the truth that benefits you the most.
Understanding men doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior or lowering standards. It means understanding the psychology behind the behavior. A woman who understands men isn’t weaker; she’s more powerful. She’s not operating from what they say in the “Are We Dating The Same Guy” groups or her small sample size of shitty ex-boyfriends. She’s operating from broader insight and empathy.
And when you operate from insight and empathy, the world looks different. You stop fighting battles that don’t need to be fought. You become more discerning, more compassionate, and more effective in love.
The same is true for men, of course. Men who actually take the time to understand women have dramatically better relationships than men who insist women are “too emotional” or “impossible to please.”
But you already know that. What’s less obvious is the opposite: the more a woman understands men, the more success she has in love.
Just last week, while I was away for Thanksgiving, I saw my wife’s best friend from college, Debbie. Debbie has been married for over 20 years to a bright, hardworking, opinionated, masculine-energy man. I asked her how she does it. She laughed and told me she grew up with three brothers. My wife grew up with two brothers and has said that I have the best qualities of both of them, without their worst qualities.
It’s not my place to say if that’s true, but I will say that the more women operate in separate spaces from men, the broader the gap gets between our respective realities and our understanding of each other.
It seems obvious that a man who isn’t friendly with women will likely not do well with women. The reverse is true, too. Having good men in your life – men you respect, even if you don’t always agree – is useful.
So much of my worldview has been formed by listening to women for 3-4 hours a day for two decades. So much of what’s wrong today is men and women who remain inside their information bubbles, fighting nihilistic gender wars where no one wins.
Believing only what feels good is comforting in the moment, but it gets us stuck. Believing what’s actually true – even when it stings a little – gives you leverage.
Imagine a man who let go of the red-pill manosphere victimhood about what’s wrong with women and started to become a leader in his own life. Imagine he not only got more fit and more successful, but was more able to understand YOUR needs.
Instead of surrounding yourself with women who validate your beliefs, maybe consider challenging those beliefs, and see what a difference it makes in your life.
If you’re ready for a more grounded, evidence-based approach to love – and want guidance from someone who has helped thousands of women find quality, commitment-oriented partners, click here to get started.
All it takes is one man to rewrite your life story.
Love,
Evan
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* This article was originally published here
Thursday, December 11, 2025
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