The Problem With Women…

Once upon a time, there was a Facebook account that had millions of followers. 

It was called “The Problem With Women…Is Men.”

Pure marketing genius. Flatter your audience (women). Find a common enemy (men). Wash, rinse, repeat. And hey, it’s kind of fun to point out the worst behaviors of the opposite sex, because there is some truth to stereotypes. Here are ten semi-true examples 

Men think about sex a lot

Crude but accurate. Frequency varies, but the baseline is higher than most women expect.

Men will sleep with women they wouldn’t seriously date

Sexual standards and relationship standards are often different.

Men avoid difficult conversations

Especially emotional or relationship-defining ones. Many will delay or minimize rather than engage directly.

Men can be emotionally immature

Not all, but a meaningful percentage haven’t developed the same level of emotional awareness or communication skills.

Men are territorial/possessive

Jealousy, protectiveness, ego around their partner. This shows up across cultures.

Men overestimate their own attractiveness or value

Confidence sometimes drifts into delusion. You see it in dating apps constantly.

Men are lazy in relationships once they feel secure

Effort during pursuit can drop off after commitment. 

Men struggle with subtlety

Hints, indirect communication, nuance: many miss it. Men respond better to directness.

Men bond through activity more than conversation

Connection often centers around doing things, not talking things through.

Men’s self-worth is tied heavily to status and success

Money, career, respect from men—these matter deeply, often more than relationships.

Remember, I’m a guy and I’m saying that these negative stereotypes are often true. Not always. But enough that when you scan that list, you probably nod your head.

Sex-crazed, emotionally undeveloped, delusional, jealous, controlling, insecure. 

“THIS is what I’m dealing with,” you think. What’s the point of dating if men – across the board, stereotypically – are so highly flawed? 

That’s what content like “The Problem with Women…Is Men” would suggest. 

Here’s the problem with such dating advice: it teaches you nothing. It validates what we all want to believe: we’re perfect and everyone else out there sucks. 

It’s just not true. If you’re a heterosexual woman who dates men, the above list may hit a little too close to home. But if you were a heterosexual man, you’d have a different list, wouldn’t you? One that would look a little more like this:

Women say they want one thing but respond to another

Stated preferences (kind, stable, nice) don’t always match actual attraction (confidence, edge, status).

Women are more selective than men

Across apps and real life, women filter harder and reject more quickly. 

Women can be indirect communicators

Hints, implications, reading between the lines. Saying something without saying it outright.

Women talk about relationships…a lot

Processing with friends, analyzing interactions, replaying conversations. 

Women compare themselves to other women

Looks, lifestyle, relationship status. Social comparison drives behavior.

Women can lose attraction quickly

A single moment – neediness, weakness, inconsistency – THE ICK – can flip a switch.

Women can hold onto resentment longer

You may forgive, but you won’t forget. Most guys get over fights faster. 

I’m not saying these all apply to you (no more than the entire men’s list applied to me) but I hope you can see how some men might draw such conclusions. 

In fact, they have – in the Manosphere. That’s the sad corner of the Internet where men overemphasize the worst stereotypes of women and live as if they’re 100% true. 

If women are into looks more than nice guys, you should biohack and work out 2 hrs/day.

If women are into money, you should be an influencer who drives a Lamborghini.

If women are into “masculine men,” you should act like a douche who has no feelings. 

It’s ridiculous. 

Naturally, women see men who act like this and conclude the worst stereotypes of men are true. And around and around we go. 

So let’s put down our swords and speak reasonably. We don’t want a world where women demonize men and men demonize women. We want a world in which we can acknowledge the differences between men and women and even celebrate (or laugh at) them. 

This is the world so many of my happily married clients inhabit.

I invite you to join us. 

Love,

Evan

* This article was originally published here