Sharyn is a 53-year-old single mom who makes high-stakes decisions as an RN at a major hospital. She was brought up in a conservative Christian household where she was taught that her responsibility was to obey her husband’s wishes. And she did, for nearly 25 years.
Kelly is a 44-year-old without children who is an executive business coach for high-powered women. Her parents are still together in a miserable marriage that her Mom should have left over 40 years ago.
Jeannie is a 68-year-old who has made millions in real estate. She had a philandering father and a controlling and abusive ex-husband who refused to listen to her feelings or resolve conflict peacefully.
These women are assertive and confident at work, and paralyzed by insecurity, fear, and indecision when it comes to love.
My guess is that you share something in common with at least one of them.
You’re highly competent. You’re financially independent. You’ve accomplished almost all that you’ve set out to accomplish. But you have an iffy man-picker and you’ve struggled to set boundaries and break up with men who didn’t treat you well.
And now that you’re at a good place in your life, you’re wondering what’s next. It could be another European vacation. It could be another promotion. But generally, if you’re reading my words right now, it’s because you want a partner. And you don’t know where to begin.
Usually, it starts with admitting your feelings to yourself.
Today, I’d like you to do a short exercise with me and focus on WHY you want a partner.
This is harder than it looks. Usually, women tell me WHAT they want: a best friend, lover, and partner in crime, who listens to them, travels with them and supports them emotionally, physically and financially. That’s not what I’m asking.
I’m asking you for a list of adjectives to describe the emotions you’ll feel when you get this person. Examples may include: happy, excited, relieved, joyous, proud, confident, relaxed, adored, cherished, desirable, worthy, calm, connected, fulfilled, complete, taken care of and my 3 favorites: safe, heard, and understood.
Now you can see the difference between searching for a tall, smart wealthy man with similar beliefs and hobbies and what you’re REALLY looking for: a man who makes you feel like the best version of yourself.
My job is to get you to listen to your feelings and trust your judgment with men.
Sharyn, Kelly and Jeannie did NOT before they met me. In fact, for decades, they ignored their feelings because that’s what they were taught in their childhoods.
Within months, they turned their love lives around. Now, they’re seeing good, relationship-oriented men and not only believe in love but more importantly, believe in themselves!
Click here if you want to be next.
I always believe in you.
Love,
Evan
Learn to date with joy and confidence
* This article was originally published here
