If you don’t know anyone from Long Island, the first thing you need to know is that all locals are indoctrinated to love Billy Joel. When classic rock stations in New York would do their Top 500 countdowns on Labor Day, there’d always be 10 Billy Joel songs beating out classics by Led Zeppelin and the Rolling Stones.
Well, after watching the 5-hr Billy Joel documentary on HBO Max, I took a second to reflect on why he means so much to me – and, in turn, what he can teach you.
- It’s hard to escape your past. Billy Joel’s father was a Holocaust survivor who moved back to Europe when Billy was 8. Billy’s entire career is about proving himself to his distant father, and everything else – including love – became secondary.
- Bright, passionate, self-made millionaires tend to work a lot, travel a lot, do not like being told what to do, and do not like compromising. Despite their charisma, they’re rarely great partners because their needs always come first.
- We all come back to love. There’s a reason Billy Joel has written so beautifully about love, why he’s gotten married four times, and why, in his 70’s, he seems to have finally figured out what’s most important in life.
Finally, as a die-hard Billy Joel fan, I want to share the lyrics to one of his most profound songs. Read them closely and you’ll understand exactly how this pertains to you.
An Innocent Man, by Billy Joel, copyright 1983
Some people stay far away from the door
If there’s a chance of it opening up
They hear a voice in the hall outside
And hope that it just passes by
Some people live with the fear of a touch
And the anger of having been a fool
They will not listen to anyone
So nobody tells them a lie
I know you’re only protecting yourself
I know you’re thinking of somebody else
Someone who hurt you
But I’m not above
Making up for the love
You’ve been denying you could ever feel
I’m not above doing anything
To restore your faith if I can
Some people see through the eyes of the old
Before they ever get a look at the young
I’m only willing to hear you cry
Because I am an innocent man
I am an innocent man
Oh yes I am
Some people say they will never believe
Another promise they hear in the dark
Because they only remember too well
They heard somebody tell them before
Some people sleep all alone every night
Instead of taking a lover to bed
Some people find that it’s easier to hate
Than to wait anymore
I know you don’t want to hear what I say
I know you’re gonna keep turning away
But I’ve been there and if I can survive
I can keep you alive
I’m not above going through it again
I’m not above being cool for a while
If you’re cruel to me I’ll understand
Some people run from a possible fight
Some people figure they can never win
And although this is a fight I can lose
The accused is an innocent man
I am an innocent man
Oh yes I am
An innocent man
You know you only hurt yourself out of spite
I guess you’d rather be a martyr tonight
That’s your decision
But I’m not below
Anybody I know
If there’s a chance of resurrecting a love
I’m not above going back to the start
To find out where the heartache began
Some people hope for a miracle cure
Some people just accept the world as it is
But I’m not willing to lay down and die
Because I am an innocent man
Yes, this is a song that was clearly written for a dating coach.
Every week, you tell me how hurt you are, how much you mistrust men, how there’s no point to online dating, and how there are no good ones left,
You’ve decided that you’d rather be alone than take a chance on a new man.
Even though you’re not satisfied being alone.
Even though the next guy you meet has nothing to do with the last one who hurt you.
Even though you know that everything I’m telling you about men is TRUE – that we want to take care of you, we want to be accepted, and we want to have the same fun, trust, passion and companionship that you do.
So every time you bristle against my advice, remember that I am an innocent man.
And so are all the good guys out there who have to fight against your defenses. Your fear. Your pain. Your lack of trust. Your emails about what’s wrong with men don’t hurt me. They just make me want to try harder to get through to you – to show you that there ARE men who can make you happy.
But you can’t meet them if you never go on any dates.
And you can’t meet them if you “hate” dating.
And you can’t connect with them if you’re emotionally guarded.
And you can’t sustain your relationship if you’re not trusting.
There’s a good chance your subconscious beliefs about men lead you to create a push-pull dynamic that undermines all your relationships.
Warmest wishes and all my love,
Your friend,
Evan
P.S. High-quality men don’t want perfection. They want emotional safety. (For real!) I’ll show you exactly how to create it — without losing yourself. 
Save your seat now.
* This article was originally published here
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