Falling in Love Without Dating

Let’s acknowledge why dating is the last thing you want to do:

• Online dating apps are flawed.
• 90% of the male population isn’t up to your standards.
• You get connection from your friends, joy from your hobbies, money from your work.
• Every relationship you’ve ever had ultimately ended.

Armed with that information, it’s rational to conclude that you don’t want to date anymore. 

So you give up on dating. Focus on yourself. “Do the work” of healing. Sink your time, energy, and money into self-care and travel. 

At some point, you discover that while you HAVE enjoyed these things, two thoughts keep popping into your mind:

1. I’m lonely and wish I had someone to share this all with.
2. I see other women with loving partners and I can’t help but wonder: why not me?

But you KNOW the answer to the question “why not me?” After a series of bad dates and dead-end relationships, you STOPPED DATING, hoping it would happen in real life.

And it hasn’t. And it won’t. And I’m saying this because I just enrolled a 68-year-old woman in coaching who has been on my mailing list since she was 51.
It only took 17 years of being alone and dating ineffectively to get her to reach out. 

Listen, I understand that dating and relationships have caused pain – and it’s human nature to do things to avoid pain. But it’s also human nature to do things to seek pleasure. 

When you’re overweight, it’s painful to diet and work out – but it’s the surest path to weight loss, energy, confidence and a long-term healthy life.

When you’re unemployed, it’s painful to rewrite your resume, hustle, and look for a new position – but it’s the surest path to more money, stability, and job satisfaction.

When you’re single, it’s painful to date – especially if you’re dating the same way you always have: randomly swiping and texting men, going on blind first dates, hooking up with cute guys and keeping your fingers crossed that they’re good people. 

But there is no shortcut to lasting love. There’s only your desire and your effort. Same as dieting. Same as job hunting. Those who embrace it are the ones who achieve their goal of finding a partner who loves them unconditionally and takes care of them every day.

Your happiness is in your hands. 

Just reach out and I’ll show you the way.

Love,

Evan

Learn to date with joy and confidence
Book a breakthrough call with me

* This article was originally published here